BEER AND HOCKEY STORIES
"PROPER ANAL
HYGIENE" - Aaron Bouplon, Boulder, Colorado
I'm usually the wise-ass... this time I was way outdone. Several years back after a game, an older member of the team said to me, "Boups, I don't think that you know proper anal hygiene." I informed him that I was pretty sure that I did (double checking in my mind as I said it). He informed me again that I wasn't doing it properly... once again, I was pretty sure that I did. Anyway, we went to our respective stalls to shower. Moments later I hear a roar of laughter coming from the area by his stall... I had to check it out. I walked over to find him doing a handstand in the shower with his ass several inches from the shower head. The funniest part was, perhaps, the way that he gyrated his hips to make sure that everything was clean. Alas, he was right, I did not know "proper anal hygiene".
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"Cellophane
Underpants" - Jamie Prochnow Boulder, Colorado
Where I play hockey now is a
long way from where I used to
play. Both in ability and in sanity. Where I currently play is a rec
center with an ice rink. Because of this they provide us towels. These
towels come in a thin clear plastic wrap. While undressing after an early
morning skate a teammate of mine, unknown to anyone else in the lockerroom,
had found a fully intact sheet of this plastic wrap. He proceeded to
wrap it around his naked body and use it as "sexy" underwear. Needless
to say it wasn't that "sexy", but it was pretty funny. Fortunately, right
before the only girl on our team walked in, he stepped into the shower
room.
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For The love Of The Game?????? - Some Canadian Chick... Ontario
It was June of 2000 and the New Jersey Devils were playing the
Dallas
Stars in the Stanley Cup finals. I had celebrated my birthday the day
before and was still in a partying mood so I went out to Jackson's Hole
in downtown Denver by myself to catch the game. If New Jersey won, they
had the Cup. I was rooting for them since I hate the Stars and also because
Jason Arnott, one of my favorite players, was playing for the Devils.
I had several beers in me when I let it slip that it had been my birthday
the day before. The bartender and the guy beside me proceeded to buy me
shot after shot after shot. Now, I get silly with shots but I drank them
anyway. The game was tied at the end of the third period and I was nervous.
I told the bartender that I wanted New Jersey to win. He asked how badly
I wanted them to win. I told him I would get up on his bar, dance and
take my clothes off if they won. He yelled, "Go Jersey!" Then I decided
to up the ante: If Arnott scored
the game-winning goal, not only would I strip on
his bar, I would play with myself too. I continued to watch the game,
and of course, continued to drink more shots. All of a sudden, the
puck was in the net and the Devils were celebrating. I knew I had
to pay up, so without hesitation, got up on the bar, started dancing
and took my clothes off. After my little show, I sat back down. The
bartender leaned over and asked me if I knew who had scored that
goal. I looked up to catch a replay of Arnott celebrating his big
goal. I couldn't believe it, but started to get up on the bar again.
The bartender informed me that there were cops there so I sat back
down, thank goodness! At the end of the night, I ended up with 3
phone numbers (2 guys, 1 girl!) and my bar tab paid for. But I had
to go back the next day to get my bra down from off the TV we had
been watching. How many people can say they love hockey so much that
they would get naked in a public place for it?
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The day after an Avalanche playoff loss to San Jose, stemming from a 5 on 3 powerplay goal, brought about by a stupid penalty by Darius Kasparitis, the Avs were working on penalty killing in practice. Coach Hartley asked the team if they wanted to work on 5 on 4 or 5 on 3. Darius chimes in, "How about we start 5 on 4? Then I'll take a dumb penalty."
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10pm: Boups, Jamie, and
Andrew meet up by pile of puke.
1. Car bombs
2. Much foot travel
3. Homeless homos chasing us
4. Bad karaoke
5. Clearing everyone out of the bar
6. Two nacho stops
7. MUCH BEER
8. Shopping cart
9. Exhaustive hunt and capture of lost cousin visiting from Russia
10. Sigh of relief with wake up call upon return home!
3:15am :We love you... goodnight
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